Christmas overflowing...

(Or maybe this should be called verbal (written) diarhea?)

My heart is so full that I have had a hard time coming
to the blog to write about this year's Christmas.
Truly this Christmas, unlike the others before it,
allowed for the chance to remember the most
important part of the holidays: being with those
you love.
My mom was able to come to town on the 20th
and spend several days with me at the hospital
just "hanging out". This was a tremendous
gift and I relished every moment to be able to talk
and be together. Somehow, when Mom enters the
picture, it just feels like "every little thing's gonna be
alright." I hope my little girl gets that feeling when
I'm around.
My Dad, brother, Alex, and grandmother, Gammy,
arrived on Wednesday evening and the fun (and chaos)
was quick to follow. We shared fantastic home cooked
meals (and some really bad Chinese on Christmas
night!) as well as many hours to sit and talk.
The staff here at the hospital even stopped in
with gifts for the baby and wished us a happy holiday!
I even talked the doctor into a quick ultrasound so
that everyone could see "the diva" in action.
Then, the drama came when "the diva" decided to
make a big move in the belly on Saturday afternoon....
of course, I just felt the pain, so, I called the nurse
and we all went in to overdrive, including my emotions!
Doc came to examine me (everything was fine!) and
gave me some fluids - after which I felt much better.
Sunday, some more contractions came and went,
so, that evening, they sent me to Labor & Delivery
for closer monitoring....translation: 10 hours
on the monitor! Talk about uncomfortable. The bed, the straps
I was not a happy camper. "The diva" did fine, though.
So, Monday morning they released me from the
confines of the straps. Upon Monday's ultrasound,
we found a huge fluid pocket (thanks to the IV) and
a baby girl who was practicing her breathing and
sucking on her cord!
All is now well and back to our "stable" selves...
fingers crossed it stays that way!
Next up is a visit with Mom & Dad Concini...more
good times ahead!
Happy New Year 2010...may it hold
many blessings!

25 Christmas Questions

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Well, since I am the daughter of "wrapper extraordinaire", I definitely have to go with wrapping paper, however, I'm not nearly as good as it as my Mom.
2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial for now, while we travel at the holidays, but, I prefer real. Can't wait until we go cut down our first real tree!
3. When do you put up the tree? Early December, but, after Thanksgiving weekend is over. One holiday at a time, folks. :)
4. When do you take the tree down? Usually the first full weekend after New Years.
5. Do you like eggnog? Not really....one sip is all I need.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? It's a tie between the Barbie Pool and a pair of Jordache jeans.
7. Hardest person to buy for? My darling husband...he's got champagne tastes and I have a beer budget. :)
8. Easiest person to buy for? My mom...I can always seem to think of at least one more thing to pick up for her...
9. Do you have a nativity scene? You betcha. It's from the Willow Tree collection- Hallmark.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I love sending and receiving cards and Christmas ones are no exception!
11. Worst Christmas ever? I can't recall a "worst" Christmas....I definitely was sick on Christmas at least once as a child and that's no fun!
12. Favorite Christmas Movie(s)? The original Miracle on 34th Street.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Early November...but, I'm also known to pick things up on our travels throughout the year.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Unless a "white elephant" gift counts, than, no.
15 .Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Christmas cookies....can't seem to eat just one!
16. Lights on the tree? Yes! White/clear lights - inside and out!
17. Favorite Christmas song? Oh Holy Night, Oh Come All Ye Faithful and Angels We Have Heard on High
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Travel, usually...this Christmas is different, that's for sure!
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Probably if I sing the song...
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Growing up, I'd open one present on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas morning. Now, we do it all kinds of times, depending on when family is together.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Rushing around because one has to get everything done. I'm going to make a more concerted effort to enjoy this season for it's true meaning, going forward. (Yes, I'll look back a year from now and let you know how I do!)
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? No theme, per se, but, love ornaments that tell a story of that year in the life.
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? I like the traditional ham dinner, but, do enjoy a beef tenderloin or crab cake. I enjoy the Concini tradition of Holy Dinner.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? A baby girl in my belly....so far so good!

1/2 way there...

We are 1/2 way through the 76 day hospital stay!
I definitely couldn't imagine this day when we were
first admitted...but, now that we've come this far,
I know we can keep going, as long as "the diva"
agrees.
Speaking of, baby girl is now being called "the diva"
by the nurses, due to her powerful kick the other day
which popped the monitor right off my belly as we
began the daily non-stress test.
Today's ultrasound showed an AFI of 5.9! Whoa.
She was hiccuping and moving and generally seems
to be content in her transverse position.
As the day draws near that we celebrate the birth of Jesus,
I am reminded of the joyful anticipation of the season
and couldn't be more thankful to have the best gift
ever tucked right inside.
May your Christmas be merry & bright and you be blessed
with the love of family and friends.

An anniversary...of sorts

December 20th, 2008 was the due date of our first pregnancy.
It is amazing that through this process, we have lots of dates
that now mark our lives.
I hope that as time goes on, that I won't forget, but, that these days
won't stand out with such definition in my heart.
If that pregnancy had been successful, we'd have a one year old and
wouldn't have suffered the loss of twins in November 2008 and
I wouldn't be struggling each day for the growth & survival of this little girl.
That's about all I can say for sure. The rest of how that path would
have played out is a mystery.
Wait...there's one other thing I can say for sure....I wouldn't have this
little girl in my belly to love more than life itself. (boy, am I in trouble or what? :)
I wouldn't have gotten to watch our marriage strengthen....or find out
just what we're capable of and what kind of resilience we can have.
The worst thing you can hear when you miscarry is "everything happens
for a reason"...because, when you learn that there no longer is a heartbeat,
the reason is NOT clear or understandable in any way. I don't know the reason
we lost the first (or second) pregnancy, but, I can learn from the life
we have lived since.
To our first angel...we won't forget. And, we know you are safely in
God's kingdom...living a far better life than we could have provided.
 We'll see you when we're reunited there.

Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad C!

39 years together!

Well, 39 years ago today, Margaret Hermance and Ernest Concini

celebrated their wedding day! The picture above is from our Florida trip in 2008,

which has now become a family joke...it was the vacation of sickness.

By the end of the week, we had all had a fever, a cough

and felt miserable.  What a mess and what

a way to get to know your in-laws!

These two are the best in-laws a girl could ask for...they

know me and love me anyway!
Through the years these two have had plenty of fun, happy

times and more than their fair share of difficult roads to travel, but,

they are not short on love for each other or

their children, grandchildren and daughter-in-law.

Happy Anniversary, you two!

We love you!

A new position...

NO- I'm not hanging upside down. Although, if they said it would
help baby girl grow, I would do it.
NO- I didn't get a new job (they don't tend to hire those on bedrest! :)
...neither did Mike, and, we don't plan to do so!

A certain SOMEONE decided that this morning, right after
breakfast, was a great time to go from a
breech "pike" position to transverse! If the uterus
is like a clock, she went from laying diagonally
5-11, (head at 11), to now laying across
from 3-9, head at 3! Her spine is across the cervix.
Now, in a normal pregnancy with lots of fluid,
the mom might feel the rolling. I felt pain - to a
level 4- move across my back and wrap around
my abdomen. Well, panic quickly set in and they
put me on for the non-stress test right away....
not a single contraction, great movement
and a textbook heartbeat. PHEW!
When the amazing JoAnn (sonographer) came to do the ultrasound
this afternoon, we learned about the position change.
She looked great on the screen, all but her fluid level
which is back down below a 2cm pocket.
(I expected that as I've lost a lot in the past 48 hours or so.)
So....the little stinker moved on us. She *might* have
a chance at going head down...but rest assured, I'll
feel it when she does!

Above all, we are thrilled, thankful, and hopeful
that we have crossed the 28 week mark. Her chances
of survival are now over 90 %...truly a miracle from the
initial chance of 10% - or less- when we arrived here 34 days ago.

A wise colleague (who's also a mentor, friend, and inspiration)
asked me, "how are you keeping your spirit up?"
And, the only answer I have for that is: through the love and support
that is showered upon us from those we know and don't know....and
from the faith I grasp for each day that we are in God's loving hands.

Terrific Tuesday!

Well, it was another stellar day yesterday in ultrasound for baby girl!
She scored an 8/8 on the biophysical profile and we added
up pockets of fluid that gave her an AFI of 5.6! PRAISE GOD!
That is the biggest AFI since we've been here and I was shocked
as I had lost quite a bit of fluid over the weekend.

Speaking of the weekend, I had a wonderful visit with my
aunt Ann Marie and cousin Allyson. They came all the way
from Northern VA to see little old me in this lovely
hospital room. They brought some Christmas decorations
and brightened up this space with those things and the gift
of lively conversation and the warmth of their hugs.
I soaked up each minute they were here...these two women
are some of the most important in my life! Aunt Ann Marie
took care of me as a tiny infant and has continued to do so
as I've grown older, even in to adulthood! Each summer as a school-aged child,
I would go to her home in West Virginia and she addded me
to the mix with Allyson and her older sister Erin, and I felt
just like one of the girls!
Allyson and I are separated by just 6 months in age (she's older :)
and I am blessed to call her a cousin AND a friend. We've shared
so many memories since we were little girls and I look forward to
making so many more as we raise our families. She knows me better
than I know myself sometimes!

Happy Birthday, Mike!

I'd like to take a moment to wish my husband, Mike, a happy birthday!

This day is special for him, as it honors the day he joined his family

in this world. More than that, it's now a day

that is special to me because I get to celebrate and honor him for all

that he is to me and to his family and friends.

If you ask me what I love most about Mike,
the list would be never-ending.
But, if forced to answer, I would say that what I love about him is :
the way he listens to me and *really* understands what I mean.
the way he goes the extra mile to make those he loves feel special.
the way he respects me, my thoughts, and my feelings - crazy and all!
the way he puts all of himself into things that are important to him-
from work to the house to his family!

So, here's to Mike...the best friend and partner in life that I could ever ask for!
And, just so we're clear.....I'M THE LUCKIEST! Love you, babe!

Double Pounder

Drum roll, please....we've hit the TWO pound mark!
The "average" weight at 27 weeks is 1.93 pounds,
so, she's on target. And, in even
better news, the scan today showed her to be in the
14th percentile for growth. This is encouraging news
as she was at the 10th percentile at 24 weeks.
Unfortunately, she didn't score an 8/8 on the
biophysical profile today....we caught her
"sleeping", so, we didn't see her practicing
her breathing and the pockets of fluid we found
didn't measure 2x2...the biggest one was
a 4x1 (which makes it a one, but, it was l-o-n-g.).
Her overall AFI was a 3, down from 5 on Tuesday.
The sonographer was pleased over all, as it's
reassuring to see fluid at all...and she had more
than most in this condition.

In other news....we're two weeks from Christmas! Is your shopping
complete? We're almost done...I think just one more gift to order
and then it's time for Mike to keep an eye on the
front door for packages.I can't believe how the time is flying.

Some highlights of the week at Duke:
Last weekend, I had Olivia & Shannon visit, one each day.
These are two lovely ladies I've had the priviledge of knowing
almost the whole time I've lived here.
Then, two girls from our Amigos' dinner group (church folks)
came by this week for some great conversation (and lunch)! Thanks, Dee & Kelly!
Mike scored a beer-drinking date on Wednesday night....I know he enjoyed that.
Meanwhile, Richard & Margaret showered me with homemade
lasagna & a crisp salad that same night...what a treat!
Tomorrow, I'm looking forward to a visit with my
aunt, Ann Marie (a 2nd mom) and my cousins Allyson & Erin...
they're making the trek all the way from northern VA to
love on me and give Mike a break.

We're continuing to look forward here with hope and
anticipation as the little one grows bigger and stronger
each day! Next week (28 weeks) will be a huge
milestone....let's do it!

Miss Show-Off

Well, I am tickled pink to write that
we have a show-off in my belly. She performed
quite well at yesterday's first ultrasound of the week.
She showed us a 3+ cm pocket of fluid and overall
had just over a 5 cm AFI
(amniotic fluid index - where they add all of the pockets together).
Immediately at the beginning of the exam, she was practicing
her breathing, and a little while later, she was flexing her
feet and moving around as appropriate.
So, it's an 8/8 again for her! WOOHOO!
The doctors and sonographer were thrilled to
see her doing so well.
The best part was that Mike was able to get here in time
for the ultrasound; it's been a while since he was able
to see her on the 'big screen'.
We're anxiously awaiting Friday's growth scan
to find out how much she weighs and where
she falls on the scale for growth percentile.

I wish I knew what was working so well and
getting her fluid levels to be where they are...I suppose
it's a combination of all of the bedrest and water I'm drinking.
I choose to believe that it's all of the prayers that are being
sent up on our behalf!
We are continuing to be amazed by the love that surrounds
us each day from friends, family and colleagues.

"Playoff" beard

Well, the daddy-to-be is growing his beard in
honor of baby girl, just like the hockey
players do when they're in the playoffs. He's been
growing it since I was admitted in to the
hospital. Uncle Doug was inspired as well
and started growing his beard over
Thanksgiving weekend.
Here's a picture for ya:

How ya holdin' up?

As for me, I'm stir-crazy, but certainly not bored.
My mind is too busy for boredom, but, these four
walls are getting old. Luckily, I have three large
windows that look out on to a construction zone! (of course!)
Working 20-25 hours a week definitely helps me
to feel relatively "normal" and gives me something
else to focus on. I seem to cling to the routine around
here...vital checks every 4 hours, a non-stress test
each morning after breakfast, meals at 8, 12 & 5,
ultrasounds on Tuesdays & Fridays. These are the
ways that I mark the days and keep a rhythm.

As for Mike...he is a tremendous partner and father-to-be.
I can't believe how well he's holding up - - between
work, the hospital and the house, he has a heavy load
on his very broad shoulders.
Finally, this week, at one of his visits, he looked more
tired than ever. We agreed that he would stay home the next night,
to rest and do things that aren't related to me,
the baby or the hospital. I think we're going to make sure
he has those kinds of days at least twice per week.

So, for those of you who are asking...this sums it up!
We're glad that you ask and think of us often.

Now, for some celebrations:
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY to my little brother Alex!
We love you lots!
AND
Congratulations to our neighbors (&friends)
Ryan & Nate on the birth of Evan Nathan!
We can't wait to meet him!

And the 2nd ultrasound of the week...

was another good report! Praise be to God!
Fluid level: A big 2.3 cm pocket! (And, two
smaller ones!)
Flexion: Flexed her arms and legs for us!
Breathing: Sustained breathing activity!
Movement: She was moving around appropriately!

This gives her a "perfect" score on the
biophysical profile. Thata girl!

I'll write more later with an
update on me & Mike as well
as the NICU tour we took earlier this week.

For now, I'll continue to say prayers
of thanksgiving for the good news.

And this week's first ultrasound shows...

three - count 'em- three pockets of fluid around

baby girl! Halleljah! If they would let me jump
up and down, I would have! :) This is the most
fluid we've seen since we had the initial rupture
three weeks ago.
Also, we saw her drinking the fluid, and practicing
her breathing (which is rare for her gestational age!).
Her stomach and bladder were full, too.
She is still breech, with the chances of her
moving to head down being slim.

And, at the end of the 20 minute scan, she turned

towards us, and yawned. It's exhausting being

the center of attention!

Finally, all of these wordy posts need some pictures!

25 weeks and growing!             Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Advent!

Today is the first Sunday of Advent. This is my favorite season
of the church calendar year as it's filled with such activity and
preparations for celebrating Jesus' birth and the hope that surrounds it.

It's a time of
expectant waiting and preparation
for the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus.

Well, do I know about expectant waiting and preparation or what?
I feel like the last 2 1/2 years have been consumed by
expectant waiting and this hospital stay is no different.
Except that I'm closer to expecting than I've ever been before.

But, what happens when the expectant waiting
and preparation doesn't go like you expected it to?
When I found out our due date was in March,
I envisioned Christmas with a big ol' round twin
pregnancy belly and putting up the tree and sending
a card with my "glowing" pregnant self on it. I pictured
spending the holidays not only preparing for the day
itself, but, preparing for the arrival of our babies.
Boy, has that changed!
Now, I'm preparing for each day and what it
might bring- both good and bad.
I'm doing my Christmas shopping on-line
and figuring out how to get wrapping paper in
to my hospital room. I'm trying to envision
a little tree here in my room and how
weird Christmas morning will feel waking up alone.
I'm trying to wipe out of my mind the
way our house looks & feels at this time of year...
because this year it will be different.
I'm ignoring the urges to bake cookies,
to go to parties and to hunt for the perfect
gift for my loved ones.

Each day, I work very hard at reminding myself
that I'm doing all that I can to give this little
girl the best start I can at life. And that will have
to be enough.

Giving Thanks

In the midst of our long and difficult journey
to be parents, I have often reveled in how
much we have to be thankful for:
~ family, friends and colleagues who offer
support in ways we couldn't imagine.
~ jobs with flexibility
~ medical care from some of the best in the country
~ the knowledge & wisdom to ask the right
questions (most of the time)
~ un-ending and ever growing love & care for each other

As we celebrate Thanksgiving from a hospital room
tomorrow, we will raise all of these things up with
gratitude.

And, now, for a baby girl update:
At yesterday's ultrasound, I was able to see her
practicing her breathing, hiccuping, and yawning
(being the center of attention is so tiring!).
She's still breech and in a pike position with her legs
straight out and up by her face. She did tuck in a leg
and the sonographer found a pocket of fluid there- hooray!
Her stomach and bladder were full, which is great news.
She is still showing a strong heartbeat at each non-stress test.

As for me, I'm holding stable- - no signs of infection.
I'm grateful to work from here each day and for the frequent
visitors and nurse check-ins. Mike comes in the evenings,
and it's lonely each time he leaves, but, it's important that
he get the rest and down-time he needs.

What are you thankful for?
Sara

Happy Birthday, Dandy!

Today is my paternal grandmother's birthday.
Although she passed ten years ago, I think of
her often. I've called out to her for strength, perseverance
and the ability to be kind and patient.
Dandy was quite a woman: quiet and polite
on the outside, yet tough and determined on the inside.
You see, she faced great loss in her life.
By the age of 11, she had lost both of her
parents within a 12 month span. She and
her siblings were then split up to be raised.

As she started to build her own family with
Grandpa Al, she survived three stillborn babies
AND the raising of my dad and his three siblings! :)
While I can't yet speak to the raising of a child,
I can be in awe of the strength she must have
had to endure such great loss of her own
children. Along our journey, I have often
wondered how she did it....why she continued...
and how she faced each day. I can only
hope to be 1/2 the woman she was.

In your honor today, Dandy...thank
you for showing us great strength
and great love.

From Where I Sit...

I've moved! I'm now in room 7701 at Duke University Hospital.
This is the antepartum floor which is where
they put the stable patients who are awaiting delivery,
whether in a few days or a few months.

The nursing staff has been good to me; they
are cheering us on and helping me to
remain positive and calm. (No easy feat, I assure you!)

What's getting to be a bit funny is the
food service experience. I don't have
any dietary restrictions, so, I get to order
from a pre-printed menu each day for the
following day's meals. Well, each day, at
least at one meal (sometimes two!), my
tray has been missing something or had
something on it that I didn't order.
And, one night, they forgot me with
the dinner tray! After two calls to food service,
a tray arrived, but, it was STONE cold.
Finally, the manager showed up with a hot plate
at 8:45PM! Oh well, if these little tidbits
are the most excitement that we have,
we'll be very lucky!

24 weeks!

Well, today is a big day in the baby's development:
it's what the medical community calls "viability day",
meaning this marks the first and earliest chance for
survival outside the womb. That being said, we
would like to keep baby girl in the "oven" for as long
as possible!
The ultrasound this morning revealed
expected development for her age in
combination with premature rupture of membranes.
Here are some stats:
Growth: 10th percentile (lil' peanut)
Weight: 1lb, 4 ounces
Fluid pocket: 1cm - this is 1/2 the minimum! (very scary)

From here, we'll do twice weekly ultrasounds to
check her fluid levels and then in 3 weeks, we'll
do another growth scan.

Thanks be to God for this day,
and for each one to come!

A Year Ago

Well, here I am...finally writing in to catch you up to speed on the going's on.

Saturday, November 14: 4AM
My water broke around the baby girl.
I was admitted to Duke and assessed for all kinds of things
including infection and contractions, etc.
We received visits from everyone, including neonatologists
who spoke to us about resuscitation and the possibility
of a still birth situation. Fear, panic and shock had set in.
Milestones:
Making it 48 hours without delivery: CHECK
Making it to 24 weeks (11/20): CHECK
Making it to 28 weeks (12/18)
Making it to 34 weeks (1/ 29/10)

We've crossed through two of the four big milestones
and each day is a gift. So far, both baby and I are stable
PRAISE BE TO GOD!

Now, here's the double whammy of the situation:
On November 18, 2008, I was admitted to Duke
with a uterine infection already brewing.
On November 19, I lost the twins during an emergency
D&C. On November 20, I left the hospital for the 2nd
time in 6 months with an empty womb and a broken  heart.

We are thankful to be farther along and
hopeful for a different and much better outcome.
I am doing  all that I can to keep this baby safe
and cared for. We have the best care that we can get.

Again, Mike and I marvel at the support in our lives.
It's like seeing God work every day.

A New Normal

The journey to become parents has been all about
being afraid of then discovering and denying
and adjusting to, a "new" normal.

We are no longer that newly married couple, who ditched
the birth control in hopes of making a baby.
We are no longer that couple who is just taking
some pills to become pregnant.
We are no longer a couple that hasn't been to
every specialist in the area to talk about our babymaking issues.
We are no longer that couple who hasn't lost a baby (or four).

We ARE a couple who has put our energy (and money!)
in to fertility treatments, doctors' appointments,
and countless pregnancy tests and tricks.
We ARE a couple that has heard
"I'm sorry, there is no heartbeat."
We ARE a couple who was freightened to death
during the labor and partial delivery of 13 week twins.

More than this, though,

We ARE a couple who are growing closer to
our faith, both individually and together.
We ARE a couple who witness
over and over again the generosity and
compassion of our family, friends and colleagues.
We ARE a couple who is more deeply in love
and more committed to each other
and to parenthood than ever before.
Now, THAT's my kind of "normal".

22 Week Survey

I've enjoyed reading others' weekly surveys and thought
I would try one myself.
How far along? 22 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: + 14 pounds...whoa, nelly!
Maternity clothes? for pants, definitely, tops, maybe
Stretch marks? none that are pregnancy related.
Sleep: eh...some good nights, some not so good nights.
Best moment this week: another great ultrasound...she's growing!
Movement:  More forceful now...definitely in the evening and middle of the night
Food cravings: Not really "craving" anything, but still avoiding spicy...reducing the risk of heartburn!
Gender: did someone say, pink?
Labor signs: No, thank goodness!
Belly button in or out? Getting more shallow by the day
What I miss: My students, going to work, working out...
What I am looking forward to: Her arrival! but before that, decorating and preparing for her.
Weekly Wisdom: Take it one day at a time
Milestones: We registered...and fingers crossed, it didn't jinx anything!
----------------------------------------------
12 days until viability....WOOHOO!  I am anxious for that milestone
and will feel even better at the 28 week mark.
We're also coming up on the one year
anniversary (November 19th) of losing our first set of twins,
so, I might be a bit more reflective in my posts
as that day draws closer.
 
Sara

From election day to bedrest...

Yeah...it's one of "those" days! Lots of thoughts swimming
in my mind...about many different things. So, I'll try to make some
sense of it, but I won't promise that the parts will equal the whole!
----------------
A year ago today, Obama was being elected to the Presidency of
the United States of America. I assume that it was a life-altering
day for he and his family. But more than that, it was a history-making
day for our country. I recall vividly the hope and promise that his
victory brought to our nation...or at least to my household. I wonder
what he thinks of his progress one year later? I wonder if he has taken
the time to reflect on the past year and evaluate his actions and
experiences during his first year in office. Do you think he has time to reflect?
Maybe he pays someone to do it for him? :)
-----------------
I've been thinking recently about the life lessons that bedrest is teaching me.

For those of you who don't know, I was placed on
bedrest, or couch rest, as I like to call it, at 15 weeks pregnant
after the water broke around our twin boy.

At first, I spent much of my time being anxious and
worrying about the health of both babies, but particularly the little boy.
And, who am I kidding, I'm still worried about the well-being
of my little girl, and that won't change until the end of my life!
As the weeks have passed and the ultrasounds keep
showing us her growth and development, I am starting
to see the lessons to be learned from  "couchrest":
~ there's no need to hurry anywhere.
~ the world still turns while I stay home and that's OK.
~  I am in awe at the generosity and compassion of our friends & family.
~ I can do more with a laptop and a phone than I ever imagined
( and believe me, I thought I'd done it all with those two items!)
~ I have taken the time to talk with Mike and to really listen
~ I have made time to be quiet and talk with God
(something that was missing in my life!)
So, it's not "all bad" and it's not all consumed with worry and anxiety.
Here's to hoping that I can take these lessons with me when life
resumes it's frantic pace.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading!
Sara

Guess what I'm going to be for Halloween?

That's right, it's me, Lacey! For Halloween, I'm going to

be a big sister, but I don't know it, yet.

I'm a neurotic cocker spaniel who belongs first to

my Daddy, Mike, and second to my mommy, Sara.

I know there's something up with them...they're acting funny.

Mommy keeps saying that I have no idea what's coming...

Well, happy Halloween! I'll be barking like crazy later

at all of our fierce trick-or-treaters!

Because I Want to Remember...

Things to remember about this pregnancy:
Aversions: grilled chicken, mexican food
Cravings: vanilla soft serve, mashed potatoes, BLT's
Body changes: terrible heartburn, "all day" sickness, sore hips
First movement:  @ 19 weeks, 6 days  ~ a 4am kick
Crying over the stroller conversation (um, hello hormones!)

Guaranteed there will be more things...but this is the list, so far.

Sara

What's In A Name?

I thought I'd share how I came to name the blog. After our
first miscarriage, a good friend Katie, sent me an e-mail
after hearing the news. She said lots of great things in that message,
but, one thing struck me. When talking about babies/children,
she said, they are "complex miracles".
That is certainly true...I knew it before struggling with infertility
and pregnancy loss, and now, I know it without a doubt!
A big thank you to Katie for inspiring the name of this blog.

The quote underneath the title is something I saw on a
baby shower cake and it rang true for me, as well, so
I thought it to be a fitting second line to the title.
Goodness knows the little thing the grows inside me
takes up most of my heart!

I bet you thought this post would be about the baby's name,
didn't you? Well, you'll have to wait 19 more weeks
to find that out- it's TOP SECRET until she arrives!

Sara

Getting Started

OK, I'll admit. I've written this post a thousand times in my head.
See, this is a big step out for me.
For months, I resisted the "blog thing".
Why would I want to write about my life? Why would anyone want to read it?
Then, I took some time to reflect. And think. And, I've thought it to death.
It's time to JUST DO IT- - like our friends at Nike say.

This is our corner of the web in which to tell our story. It's a story of
life, love, loss and moving on. And, now, it's becoming a story of
anticipation and hope as we are expecting
our first child in March, 2010. Also, this blog is a place to keep
our distant (and maybe near by) friends and family
posted about the goings' on in our life!

Thanks for reading!
Sara